I have noticed recently that people have been expecting me to do a lot of extra work, like make this phone call, cover this vacant position, and run this errand. So I decided to explore the idea in my journal. As I wrote my feelings onto the page my angry little girl threw a tantrum, spilling the word no! onto the page. It felt good to write that big no! It felt like she wanted me to be saying that big no more often.
So today’s prompt was what permission do I need to give myself to say no to requests that just are not important to me, or unreasonable of my time and energy? As I explored this I really felt it was this false perception that people have of me. They assume that because I work part time I must:
- Sit around the house sipping cocktails all day, and watching movies.
- Or that I sleep all day whilst my boys are at school.
- Or I attend mother’s group parties and champagne lunches.
- Or that I sunbaked on the trampoline and sip on wine.
- Or that I spend all day curled up in an armchair reading books all day.
- Or I spend my days shopping for new clothes and having manicures.
Reality I would love to spend my days luxuriating in life, and occasionally I do. However I do have meaningful work to do, I have my paid employment, I have my volunteer work and I have my family. Then after that is my passion projects like my Journaling and Walking blog, and also the things that fill me up like Yoga, journaling, walking and reading. My life is pretty busy, and my time is valuable.
So I have decided to give myself permission to shatter other people’s ideas about my life. I am not a bored housewife who gets to spend her days having bubble baths and drinking champagne. Rather an individual who has her own important work to attend to, who gets meaning and rewards from that work. Who chooses to focus her time and energy on the things she thinks is important, and occasionally gets to enjoy a bubble bath. I also have an angry little girl in me who likes to throw tantrums and say that big no! People don’t really like my angry little girl because she really digs her heels in when she says no or simply does not do things when they are on the bottom of her priority list. I like her, because she cracks it when I am not standing up for myself.
So today my angry little girl created a permission slip that I can take out into the world, and say that big no to people that don’t respect my energy and time. I am also going to spread reality about my life and smash those perceptions that I have all this free time to sit around and attend to their demands.